I confess it took me a while to even find it. Close to a year. When I did, it was littered will all sorts of weird comments. I hit “delete conversation” and didn’t look back.
But yesterday…during my celebratory revel over Bayou Bound—InD’tale magazine gave it a 4.5 Star Review with a “heart and crown” (which means the reviewer LOVED it and I’m feeling like Sally Fields giving her Norma Rae Oscar acceptance speech, “You LIKE me! You really LIKE me.) and over the news that the cover is a Semi-finalist in the Cover Contest—I checked my messages on FB. The “Other” folder had been cleaned out a week ago and it contained one lone message.
I read it. Various emotions shot me as though I were a paintball target. The first word that came to mind was:
Creep /krēp/ noun: creep; plural noun: creeps
1. informal a detestable person.
Now, creep isn’t a word that I recall ever crossing my lips. So, I looked it up. Urban Dictionary says, “1950′s word used by women to decribe an undesirable man.”
Yes, Urban Dictionary has misspelled “describe” in their definition. However, “1950’s woman” isn’t my generation. Yet, I read on, the related words: creeper, creeping, stalker, weirdo, loser, pervert, freak, jerk, asshole, lurker.
So what word really fits this alleged person (who knows, I guess it could’ve been computer generated)? Read what was written below and tell me what you think.
And remember, what is written is exactly as I copied it.
Hello How are you doing I assume that we have not met neither have we communicated before, firstly, my name is Solomon,I am sending you this e-mail with all humility and every seriousness of heart. because When I saw you, the world stops as if the only purpose in life was for me to please you,when i saw your awesome photograph and also your nice profile i must confess u are beautiful,you can send me an email to my email address i will send you my pic through my email address.I am single and looking for a very honest lady like you .i know you will be thinking how come i saw you,i knew you where honest because you looking pretty good when i go through your profile.I would respond to your e-mail as i check it every now and thenSending me some more pics of yourself would be really nice also.i will be very happy if we can get on yahoo chat and get to know each other well better. you can add me let chat.and you can also send me yours as well,I wait for your response. Have a lovelyday
For me, there are all sorts of wrong with this message. Did I tell you that his name is Solomon King? This morning I tried to look him up and couldn’t find him on FB. At least not with the photo I saw yesterday.
Ladies, seriously, who falls for the “When I saw you, the world stops as if the only purpose in life was for me to please you” line? If you’re at all tempted to fall for that, let me know. I’ll stage an intervention. This sister is happy to help out the sisterhood.
Back when I became “legal” and could hit the clubs, there were a few guys who tried a line similar to this, “i knew you where honest because you looking pretty good”
Right, “looking pretty good” equals honest. Not in the world I grew up in. Let’s face it, songs and stories are written about how men find women attractive after a bottle of Jack or George (Daniels or Dickle.)
Yes, I’m married. Happily married. My Hero is a wonderful man. He loves me. He gets me. He is the greatest gift in my life.
However, if I weren’t married, I’m too savvy to be catfished.
Urban Dictionary: A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.
Catfish is too tame a word to label the creep who messaged me.
My response to this: I am sending you this e-mail with all humility and every seriousness of heart is I don’t know you from Adam’s catfish and if for one moment the words were true, wouldn’t you friend the person? Not try to go through the back door? *Creepy*
What would you call it/him?
Happy Reading…just not messages from the “Other” folder on Facebook.